Your name is DAYTAH WHYFYE, and you have just been brought on board to serve as a mascot for this ONLINE GEEK CONVENTION. The yellow swill running through your veins, paired with a suspicious sign and shoulder nestled headphones, suggest that you were, quite practically, made for this role.
Aside from occupying as eye candy, you are buzzing with FABRICATED HOBBIES. Your interests include STREAMING, a convenient activity to partake in given the premise of your new job. It is ironic socializing that you will gladly partake in while huddled in your respiteblock like a LOUNGEPLANK SPUD. Naturally, when your husk begs for it, you will occasionally escape the comfy confines to CONSUME AND HYDRATE. A lack of self care does the body bad, and remaining in SAFE CONDITIONS while not PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR is another one of your favorite pastimes.
Another hobby, serving more like a begrudging habit, is checking the BANDWIDTH AND ROUTER. Your voracious viewers would have your hide if you decided to wing a connection of one bar, to then fizzle out on a disconnect for the rest of the night. Honestly, you would have your own hide if you decided to roulette your reputation like that.
A couple of perigees from now, this convention spoken of will open to the public, and you will ensure that a fun time will flourish from it.
This convention, for helpful reference, is a convention that has NOT YET EXISTED.
But it will soon.